Last week I was listening to the local Christian radio station as I was driving in my car.  I try to be careful when listening to Christian radio as sometimes I get triggered by something said.  But last week, I ventured to listen, thinking I could handle any triggers that occurred. 

There was a “talk show” with Chuck Smith, the founder of the Calvary Chapel movement.  Callers were calling in to ask Chuck questions about the Bible, their faith, their walk, etc.  One lady called in and had a question.  Apparently, she had gone to the grocery store a few days before, and a male employee of the grocery store attempted to sexually assault her in the parking lot as she made her way to her car.  She was able to escape him, but as she drove off, she was so flustered by the incident, she ran into a post, damaging the side of her car. 

Her question for Chuck was, “What should I do?  Should I let the grocery store know what happened?  Should I turn the guy in?”  She said she had several Christian friends who told her not to tell because she wasn’t harmed, and was able to get away from her would-be assailant.  She also had other Christian friends, she explained, who told her to report him.  She was confused.  She wanted to know what a good Christian woman should do.

By the way, it is normal for anyone who undergoes what she went through to be confused by what happened.  But that’s just an aside.  Here was Chuck Smith’s answer:

Chuck Smith told her she should definitely go back to the store and turn the guy in.  His reason was because even though she had not been hurt by him, she was clearly shaken up by the incident, she damaged her car, and turning him in would prevent him from hurting anyone else in the future.  He also suggested that the grocery store pick up the tab for repairing her vehicle.

My first response was to say a hearty “Amen!” to Chuck’s answer.  Chuck got it right.  He understood that it’s important for a survivor of sexual abuse/attempted sexual assault to turn the guy in!   But then the thought occurred to me…

What if the woman had called Chuck, and asked him what to do if her pastor had tried to assault her?  And what if the pastor was on Chuck’s pastoral staff or pastoring in a Calvary Chapel church?  Would Chuck Smith’s answer be the same?  Would his church listen to the woman?  Would his church take action against the pastor?  Would his church get real help for the woman if she had been sexually assaulted by a pastor?

I don’t know the answer to my questions.  I don’t know where Chuck Smith stands on the issue of clergy sexual abuse.  I would like to believe that he, being the spiritual man he seems to be, would have the same understanding of “clergy” sexual abuse as he does for “secular” sexual abuse.  There really is no difference, except that clergy too often are able to hide behind separation of church and state laws and get away with it, leaving the victim(s) to fend for themselves.  

What if the lady who called in to ask Chuck Smith followed his advice, only to have the grocery store manager minimize what happened to her, tell her that the employee who tried to assault her was his best employee, and threatened to sue her for slandering such a decent young man?

I applaud Chuck Smith for believing the woman who called him, and for encouraging her to go to the grocery store.  But he also could have offered to have someone go with her to the grocery store, and if the grocery store manager did not believe her, encourage her to go to the police department to file a complaint against the employee.

We ask, “What should I do?”  Women who become victims and survivors of sexual assault should do everything we can to tell the authorities what happened.  Yes, we should turn sexual predators in!

Perhaps as more light is shed on sexual predators, both in secular settings and in the church, Christian leaders, such as Chuck Smith will be more proactive in helping victims and survivors of clergy sexual abuse.

“Study to show thyself approved unto God…” (2 Timothy 2:15)

Recently I received two comments from visitors to Sharon’s Rose who have shown their approval for Sharon’s Rose.  One never knows for certain that your website will reach those for whom you intend it to reach, so it’s a pleasure to receive a good word about the work you’ve done.  These women, who have been greatly affected by clergy sexual abuse, have confirmed to me that there is a need for Sharon’s Rose.  These aren’t the only words of affirmation I’ve received, but are the latest, and I wanted to share them. 

From a woman: 

“Sharon, God bless you for this site…. It has already been a blessing to me….We have faith in God, but have no trust or desire to be in church due to the way the church reacted…. Thank you for your site and allowing me to speak through it.  I am pretty much silenced by what happened.”

Another visitor said: 

“Thank you for your kind words. I appreciate the work you are doing. I have been to your website and learned much. May God bless you and your family. Your words on this site are balm to the soul.”

Sharon’s Rose continues to get hits from all over the world.  I am very thankful for every one who visits Sharon’s Rose, and hope it will minister to clergy sexual abuse survivors, and help bring understanding to this atrocity happening in our churches.  Our collective voices form a strong cord that will bring clergy sexual abuse to an end. 

“Sticks and stones may hurt my bones, but words…”

Words are important.  Words can make or break a man, woman or child.   Words can tear down.   Words can build up.  They can have a negative effect.  They can have a positive effect.   It is up to the speaker to decide how his or her words will be delivered, and for what purpose. 

When it was found out that the pastor of my church was sexually assaulting several women at my church, the elder board became afraid.  They were afraid if the congregation knew the truth, many in the congregation would leave the church, and the church would fold.  The elders were faced with a dilemma, and a decision.   What would they say to the congregation?   How could they possibly explain what happened?  How could they save face in light of the fact they did nothing about the evil that had been lurking right under their noses for many years?   

The elders could have told the truth.  Yes, it would have been embarrassing.  Yes, it would have been hard to explain, not only to the congregation, but to the pastor’s wife and family…something they haven’t done to this day!  But I believe had they told the truth, the congregation, and the pastor’s family, and the victims, all would have had a greater chance to heal.  The evil of the sexual abuse would have ended, and the perpetrating pastor would have had the chance to be held accountable for his terrible deeds.  God honors truth.  God would have worked things out for the best–for the church, the elders, the congregants, the victims, the pastor’s family, and even the pastor.

Unfortunately, the elders decided to “speak evil.”  Rather than tell the truth–that several victims of the pastor had come forward to complain of being sexually abused by the pastor–the elders made up a “cover up” lie.  They felt a lie would be easier for the congregation to hear than the truth.   They announced the pastor had confessed to “sexual impropriety” with “one woman.”  Even their lie was outrageous; as if that were a “lesser” offense than what really happened.  As truth has a way of doing–coming up to the surface–they’ve had to modify their lie because their lie doesn’t fit the truth. 

As a result, many families left the church–some never to return to any church.  Two-thirds of the congregation left.  Those who remained are still under the lies of the elders.  And even though many new people have joined the church since the split, the church remains with lies at its foundation.  The elders think they “pulled it off.”  “What a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive.”  The elders replaced the firm foundation of their church (God’s word) with a tangled web of deceit.  God cannot honor a church built on lies; it’s against his character.  

What can anyone learn from what happened?  Speaking evil (lies) causes harm.  It tears down.  But speaking truth–though painful at times–gives opportunity for healing and building up.  It brings hope.   It restores joy and peace, not only between brothers and sisters, but with God himself.

May we all choose to speak the truth, even if it means we will be humbled, because in doing so we will be honoring God.  In return, God will honor those who tell the truth.

I close with these thoughts from King Solomon:

“A soft answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger.  The tongue of the wise uses knowledge rightly, But the mouth of fools pours forth foolishness” (Prov. 15:1,2).

“A wholesome tongue is a tree of life” (Prov. 15:4).

“An evildoer gives heed to false lips; a liar listens eagerly to a spiteful tongue” (Prov. 17:4).

“He who has a deceitful heart finds no good, And he who has a perverse tongue falls into evil” (Prov. 17:20).

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue” (Prov. 18:21).

“See no evil.”  Evil is a hard thing to see, yet we turn our television sets on, or watch U-Tube, and see violence before our eyes repeatedly.  We’re drawn to the CSI series because “we love too see crimes solved,” but don’t even realize how much violence is contained in those shows.  People flock to the movie theater to see the latest action drama; many times to see the chase scene or the fight scenes.  No matter where we are in society–rich, poor, middle-class, in every ethnicity–violence and evil surround us, coming in many forms, and we see it every day. 

So, what does it mean to “see no evil”?  How can our eyes, even if innocent, avoid looking upon evil?

The wise saying has a double meaning.  Don’t look upon evil to participate in it, and don’t look upon evil because it could taint your soul.  Many soldiers coming home from war could tell of the terrible atrocities they experienced in battle, things they saw.  It wrenches the soul, attacking the belief system for all that is good and right.  Clergy sexual abuse victims see evil–not only in the way they were abused by the perpetrator, but too often by the way church leaders collude against them as they courageously try to hold their perpetrators accountable for unspeakable acts.  Survivors of domestic violence experience evil in a place that should be safe by perpetrators who often hide their evil well.

Perhaps we shouldn’t say “see no evil.”  We can’t help but see it; and we all do.  The real question is what will you do with evil once you see it?  I’m not talking about what we watch on a screen via the movie theater, or television, or computer.  (Although we could write letters asking these venues to tone it down.)  I’m talking about the kind of evil that we personally experience, whether it be knowing our neighbors are fighting, and we can hear the screams of the wife and child; or knowing a soldier who has come home from the war disillusioned about life; or knowing of a clergy sexual abuse situation either in our own church, or a church we’ve heard of facing that terrible issue.  

The Bible tells us to help the helpless (Luke 10:25-37).  In the story of the Good Samartitan, we are not to be like the cowardly priest, or the loathing Levite.  Both of these men, the priest and the Levite, saw what happened.  They saw evil.  Yet they looked the other way.  They passed by and didn’t stop to help.  They went so far as to cross the street to avoid coming close to the man beaten and robbed.  Jesus details what the Samaritan did.  The Samaritan went way out of his way; he went above and beyond the call of duty to help the man overtaken by thieves.  At the end of the story, Jesus asks the lawyer with whom he was speaking, “So which of these three do you think was a neighbor to him who fell among the thieves?”  The lawyer answered, “He who showed mercy on him.”  Then Jesus said, “Go and do likewise.” 

Don’t fool yourself by saying you just looked the other way because you didn’t want to see the evil.  We all have a responsbility to deal with evil and its aftermath.  Overcome evil by doing something about it.  Go above and beyond.  Do all you can do to help.

Since the beginning of time, mankind has been plagued with evil.  In the garden, Eve was tempted by evil; Adam succombed to it.  Throughout history, there have been times of great evil, such as was experienced in the Holocaust.  Evil is something that most of us would like to avoid.  I know I would.   But how can we do that? 

The ancient proverb tells us to “Hear no evil,” and it brings to my mind the notion that if I simply shut my ears, I can avoid evil.  I just won’t “hear” the voice that would tempt so I can live a life of peace.  But my own experience has been that evil finds a way to sneak in, and before I know it, there it is.   Does just not hearing put an end to evil?  Can we just simply tune it out?

Evil is all around us.  It is unavoidable.  Turning on the TV or the radio invites evil into our homes and lives.  Even a wholesome program can be tainted with commercials that carry evil messages. 

Perhaps the proverb should say, “Heed No Evil.”   Do not give evil your attention, but at the same time, pay close attention to the evil around you.  If there is an untolerable source of evil controlling your life, get rid of the source.  Cut it off at the path.  Nip it in the bud. 

Perhaps the proverb should say, “Ward off  evil.”  Take steps to make sure evil doesn’t get in.  The Spiritual lyrics go like this, “Shut de door, keep out de debil; shut de door, keep de debil in the night.”  Make sure your life is safe.  Don’t give evil (and the devil) any chance of breaking in to your life.

But what of evil that infiltrates a society, or a group of people?   Clergy sexual abuse survivors know of a kind of evil that goes unchecked in churches who have not warded off evil.  These religious institutions have thrown caution to the wind to get just the right charismatic man in who they believe will bolster the attendance rolls, and fatten their offering coffers.  The church leaders have played into the hands of God’s ancient foe to the ruin of many lives in the church, not just the survivors of CSA.  Do individuals have a responsibility in cases where evil has crept in to a larger group?

Evil needs to be faced.  Christians and all who are religious, who are striving to live righteous lives, need to “hear no evil”…they need to pay close attention to evil around them, and ward it off.  They need to listen to what is going on around them…listen to those who speak of evil’s harms, and make the choice to do something about it to protect others from being hurt. 

The “invisible children” of Darfur have suffered incredibly at the hands of The Lord’s Army, a detestable group of marauders who steal children in the night to do their bidding.  Several religious groups from across the globe have heard the call of that evil, and have stepped in to provide safe havens for these children, even rescuing some of the children who were kidnapped.  I applaud these groups who have heard of this evil, faced it head on, and took action to stop it. 

We need those in our own country to hear the call of the evil of clergy sexual abuse to take action against it.  There is no place for clergy sexual abuse in any religious institution.  It is an evil that must be dealt with and stopped.    

The three little monkeys sat motionless on the desk of my father’s CPA.  I thought they were cute.  I loved animals; so much so that I hardly noticed the position of their hands.  One was covering his ears, one was covering his eyes, and one was covering his mouth.  We’ve all seen these three little monkeys in one form or another.   As a child, I was struck by how unnatural it was for monkeys to be frozen in time in such vicarious and obvious positioning.   I asked my mom what it meant.  She wisely informed me:   “Stay away from evil.  Don’t get close enough to hear it, see it, or even speak of it.”

In my adulthood, and especially after my experience with clergy sexual abuse, I’ve sadly learned a different meaning to the wily threesome.  After having experienced the outright wrath and collusion of church leaders for standing up against clergy sexual abuse, I have come to see these three little guys as a metaphor for denial.  Those who have survived clergy sexual abuse have heard evil.  We’ve seen evil.  We’ve experienced the added wounds of others talking behind our backs about the evil that happened, despite “admonitions” by church leaders not to “gossip.”  (The admonitions were meant to stupefy the congregation to prevent further inquiry.  Further inquiry might lead to uncovering cover-up schemes.)  But it’s only human nature to talk about clergy sexual abuse, especially if you’re a congregant wondering what really happened.  Clergy sexual abuse survivors had no choice.  We were thrown into the evil schemes of evil men.   And it’s those evil men who would rather clergy sexual abuse survivors remain in the realm of darkness.  

If we convince ourselves to “tune it out,” “look the other way,” or “bridle our tongues” when faced with evil, then aren’t we really just denying the fact that the evil is present?  In my next several blogs, I’d like to explore the concept of evil, denial, and the impact that has on righteousness.  What should we do when faced with the powers of darkness?  What does it mean to “hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil”? 

Earlier this week I blogged about a man, who, being out on bail for alleged sexual assault on minors, stepped into a pulpit last Sunday to preach!  That is clearly one man who has no conscience, but is puffed up with himself, arrogantly mocking God in God’s house.  

By contrast, I heard a sermon from a very brave and courageous clergyman on Sunday morning, a man of conscience.

The title of his sermon was, “In All Things, Bear Witness of God and to Good.”  It was a sermon that shared his own witness to the suffering of his wife who is an incest survivor.  He expounded the importance of tackling domestic violence issues in our country.  He encouraged his congregation to hear the voices of the oppressed, to be courageous in standing up for those who are suffering, and to work for justice on their behalf.

This pastor not only had conscience, but he also exhibited great courage, compassion, and caring.  He exemplified the love of Christ in supporting the oppressed, including sex abuse survivors.  I can only offer my thanks, and say, “Bravo!”  Christ will say, “Well done, thou good and faithful servant.” 

Second Kings 22 and 23 records the story of Josiah, an eight-year-old boy who became king over Judah, the southern Kingdom of what is now Israel.  It is said of him that “he did what was right in the sight of the Lord, and walked in all the ways of his father David; he did not turn aside to the right hand or to the left” (22:2).  In other words, Josiah did the right thing.  He ruled over Israel 31 years.

First, when Josiah turned 18, he made an assessment of the damage to the house of the Lord, then set out to make the needed repairs.  Upon doing so, Josiah stumbled upon the Book of the Law–God’s Law.  He realized “our fathers have not obeyed the words of this book, to do according to all that is written concerning us” (22:13).   Josiah feared the wrath of God for their disobedience (he had a conscience).

Next, Josiah gathered all the leaders of the land, both religious and civic, and restored worship in the land.  He removed the idolatrous priests (who were sexually immoral men, among other things) and their paraphenalia, burning these to “powder.”  He wiped out and destroyed all and anyone associated with idolatry in the land. 

Finally, he commanded the people to observe the Passover with a mighty festival.  Righteousness was restored in Judah for 21 years.  As long as Josiah remained alive, the judgment on Judah was suspended because Josiah “turned to the Lord with all his heart, with all his soul, and with all his might, according to all the Law of Moses” (23:25).

What made Josiah great was the fact that he did the right thing.  He used his power and authority to destroy the evil around him, and bring the people back to God.    

Contrast this with what too many in the clergy are doing today:  abusing their power and authority to do what is heinous in the eyes of God by sexually assaulting women and children in churches, synagogues, and temples.   And even those not causing such atrocities, stand by doing little, if anything, to avert clergy sexual abuse in their midst.   Some even protect the pastor predators.

What we need in our country is for good, righteous men to do the work of restoring righteousness and holiness in our places of worship.  Are there any who will turn to the Lord with all their heart, with all their soul, and with all their might?  

When good men do the right thing, the land prospers, and there is peace and happiness among all the people.  When good men do nothing, evil persists.   

The Apocrypha records the story of Antiochus Epiphanes  who plundered and ransacked the Jewish Temple leaving it (and the people) in shambles.  Not satisfied, he later returned to Jerusalem, overtook the city, ordered the people to denounce their religious practices, and completely forego Mosaic Law.  He sacrificed pigs and unclean animals to mock Israel.  It was an abomination.  (cf. I Maccabees)

This past weekend, a church allowed an errant pastor to preach in their pulpit.  This concept isn’t new to anyone familiar with clergy sexual abuse.  Pastors, priests and rabbis accused of sexually abusing women and children in their parishes are moved on to other parishes as part of cover up plans.  What makes this new case so detestable, however, is the fact that the pastor was arrested in January and again in March for leud conduct and child molestation.  He is ”out on bail” awaiting trial.  This is an abomination. 

You would think there would be an outcry in the denomination.  But there is none.  You would think the congregants would boycott the church.  But the pews are filled.  You would think someone would at least shout “Foul!”  But most voices remain silent, save for the victims and survivors.

Where are the Maccabees to save us?  Who is standing up against conservative Christian churches to denounce clergy sexual abuse?  Yes, there are a few–Christa Brown, Dee Ann Miller, Diana Garland, to mention a few–but where are the godly men who should be taking a stand against this kind of apostasy?

We need to overturn this kind of evil, and allow the pure, holy, and clean miracle of lights to shine once again in our churches and temples. 

More and more the news media is reporting cases of clergy sexual abuse.  Marie Fortune, founder of Faith Trust Institute, and Diana Garland, Chair of the Department of Social Work at Baylor University, are quoted in a USA Today article.  It is very informative.  If you’re a Protestant, or a conservative Evangelical, this article should hit home.  And after you read this article, ask yourself, “What are conservative Evangelical churches doing to address the issue of clergy sexual abuse?”

http://blogs.usatoday.com/oped/2008/04/abuse-of-faith.html